What Do You Want for the Holidays?

Briana Chang

I want the gift that no human being can give: the gift of youth.  I wish that I could be seven years old once more; to go back in time when I rolled down hills and no one thought I was crazy, admired everyone bigger than me without being hindered by their flaws, step outside and think of a story for every person who passed me by, the list goes on but these things I miss the most.  Really all I want is my childhood back, and I regret choosing education over enjoying these little things.  I know that I can never undo this decision but for the holidays the only thing on my wish list is for you to cherish your childhood; balance your education with a happy life filled with moments to remember.

Transition

Jungle Fever

Kandice Simmions

Interracial Dating is a reoccurring scene on and off campus at Independent, predominantly white schools. While some people of color are breaking barriers by dating females of a different races, judgments are often made by their peers. As an ABC Scholar, I have seen that love has no boundaries.
A part of the minority at an Independent School, you shouldn't feel obligated to only like and or date someone of the same race. The possibilities of love are endless, so what's stopping you from giving someone else a chance? If you're afraid of “selling out” then I think you should re-evaluate your reasoning behind attending an Independent school.  By choosing to attend a school where you are considered the minority, you have accepted diversity in all ways.  Then again, you’re not at school to fall in love; you don’t have to be in a relationship at all.

YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE!

Briana Chang

I’m a big dreamer.  Every year I say, “I’m going to get all A’s in my classes.” This year on top of that I said, “I’m going to get a 2400 on the SATs”, the highest score you can get.  There is nothing wrong with these dreams, they’re not impossible, just a little hard to achieve, but that’s really the fun of it all.  I like to dream big to push myself in achieving my goals.  Last year I didn’t get all A’s (this year I will of course) but I was able to admire how far I went to receive the grades I earned with a chuckle, realizing that I am a hard worker.

Accountability

Briana Chang

    “I learned nothing in that class! Ms. Valery doesn’t know what she is doing! I’m never taking a class with her again!” I said to my friend in disgust, as I’m sure we have all said about at least one of our teachers.  But was it really Ms. Valery’s fault that I didn’t learn anything?

    It’s hard to learn about sines and cosines in a lecture if you need a diagram to understand how they are defined by an angle.  While you may need a diagram, the person next to you may need an interactive activity; which student should the teacher satisfy?  At my school we were discussing learning styles, demanding that teachers learn how to make flexible lessons for students to fully comprehend the information taught in their classes. The only problem with that is shown in the situation with the two students learning about the electrons and protons- who should suffer?  A teacher cannot address the needs of all of their students. It’s impossible!  Teachers do the best they can; at some point you are going to have to take advantage of your own education.  If you don’t understand it in class find a book in the library about it, look it up on the internet, or ask a friend.  You are not a child anymore, take responsibility for your education!

Black Dot on a Large Canvas

Briana Chang

It’s normal for people to group themselves with others who look like them in the hopes that they will share other things in common.  Day one, Cambridge School: I spent my day with the students of color: sitting at the “black table” and congregated with them in the back seats of the auditorium.  I was encouraged to be with “my people” because I was attending a  predominantly white school for the first time in my life.  I had never felt like the minority so much, I felt like a small black dot on a large canvas I grouped with other small dots (students of color), to remind myself that I wasn’t the only one.  I wish someone told me that this was the wrong way to go.  Instead of immersing myself into the culture of the school by befriending different kinds of people I kept to one group.  I regret it now because the decision has made it even harder for me to branch out and learn about others.  Don’t make the same mistake.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

Briana Chang

I had never seen so many people smiling before.  Everytime I passed a set of teachers or students there it was, plastered on their faces.  It encouraged me to meet everyone who attended my school.  At first I tried the standard method of approaching saying, “Hey, what’s your name?” but with language, race, culture, and other barriers, it was hard for me to move forward with a strong positive connection to most people.

I decided to play the infamous sport on campus: basketball. I had never played before but realized that the team was a family.  I found myself at home on the court with the ball, practicing for try-outs.  Everyday one of the current players on the team was willing to show me the tricks and tools for the best way to play, building my relationship with others at school.  In the end I had lots of friends and made the team.

If you want to make new friends, go ahead; try walking up to them hoping a conversation will bloom into a friendship.  But if that doesn’t work, pick a sport, club, or group that interests you and you just my make some friends for a lifetime.

To Be Or Not To Be?

Briana Chang

The question replayed over and over in my mind when I thought about what kind of school I should attend.  Should I stay home where I have a safety net if I get too stressed out about work, the community, or events, or should I expose myself entirely into a new culture?  I chose boarding school because I wanted a new experience, a new awakening into what the world would be like without my parents.  It’s a big trust exercise: Your parents will have to trust that you will make the right decisions and you have to trust the community within your school so that if anything happens you will not have to confront the issue on your own.  Doing your research and visiting the school before you enroll plays a big part in your selection.  When deciding the type of school you want to attend you should consider:

• Talking with your parents about boarding school; listing pros and cons
• Meeting the guidance counselor of your school of choice
• The disciplinary actions taken at the school
• Asking students who attend the school about big events on campus

Put an End to the Petting

Briana Chang

Afrocentric flair or dread swaying hair styles, waving in sets or crazy crackling curls, silky straight or permed; we all have different hair types.  Raised in a place where your hair is the norm, it can be difficult to move into a new environment and the move can be a culture shock for not only you but to the people around you. There may be few who can relate to your hair treatment methods and people in your new surroundings  may be curious about your hair.  Some people may have the audacity to touch it as though your hair were their own.  Overwhelmed with curiosity, your new found friends may not notice that they are being disrespectful but its okay, tell them how you feel, and say “Please do not touch my hair.“ They should respect that.   

"Who Cut the Cheese?"

Briana Chang

Flatulence, or just using the bathroom, was a big problem for me at boarding school. “Ladies don’t do those things,” or at least not when anyone is around. The words circled my thoughts whenever I had to use the bathroom so I had to find a few nooks around the cranny.  If you are in desperate need of releasing flatulence, and are worried as I was, I would suggest:

• Making a similar noise with your mouth.  This will help if no one is quite sure where the sound is coming from
• Go into a deserted area (be sure to check if people are around)
• While you are taking a shower; the water is pretty loud
• Just do it!

Everyone passes gas at some point.  Hopefully there comes a point in time when you don’t care what other people think and realize that flatulence is a normal bodily function. Everyone does it, it’s apart of a healthy lifestyle.

Quit Wasting Time!

Like most students, I had a serious issue with procrastination. I would receive an
assignment a week in advance and would wait until two days before it was due to begin
working on it. Once high school hit and I decided to take part in several activities, I
realized that procrastination just wasn’t my friend, so I thought about changing my ways.
I found that by creating a schedule, I could organize myself enough so that
procrastination had no time to invade on my life. Some people feel the need to
procrastinate; if you are someone of that nature then have no fear! You can be helped
as well. Plan procrastination into your schedule. Commit to being focused on your
assignment for as long as you can and set aside 15-20 minutes to do a physical activity
in solitude with a pen and paper at your side. You want to be working your body to get
your heart pumping and sending oxygen to your brain. You also to produce space for
thinking to expand on the ideas you already have. Attacking procrastination is a difficult
thing to commit to but once you get in the habit of doing it, procrastination just might

become your friend.

You Are Not An Encyclopedia

Briana Chang

Attending a school where you are a part of the minority may put you in the position to be approached with several questions about your culture.  Students, and even some teachers, may look at you like an encyclopedia with all the answers about being a person of color, but it is not your job to educate.  Growing up in a society foreign to the people around you does not make you an expert.  When approached with a question such as, “What is it like to be a person of color?” you should not feel overwhelmed in answering.  Being a person of color is not like a one size fits all outfit- everyone fits into it differently.  You cannot speak for a group of people when you have only been exposed to the things that surround you. 

As a scholar you should explain to your inquirer that you cannot speak for a group of people.  Explaining to them that you cannot answer their question does not mean that you are ending the discussion.  Shutting down the question will only close their mind  and may leave them only believing the information that is fed to them through the media, which usually demonstrates a negative appearance of our people.  Instead of leaving them to wonder you should take action which may entail:

• Turn the question back to the person, “ What is it like for you to be the majority?”
• Ask them to rephrase the question so that it is not about your race but that it is more specific to your relation to the race.
• There are always answers in books, it can be an experience for each of you to find a book to answer the question.

What ever you do, do not deal with it alone, find a group of peers who can relate to the circumstance and discuss the interaction.

FIRST POST!

Briana Chang

This blog is for every ABC student to share their experiences and hear about other challenges that people face at their schools. It is comforting to know that other students are going through the same situations in their schools. Since we are a community, this blog is a way of uniting everyone. Even though we might go to different schools, there is a high possibility we will face the same challenges. The entries will give advice on how to face these situations. We hope by sharing our stories, we will be able to continue to make ABC a better program.